The Cave

**WARNING: Graphic Content**

I apologize in advance for the length of this post. But it is my belief that with an adventure like this, brevity should be compromised.

I spent this past weekend sleeping in a cave with Masai warriors. I’m not sure where to start telling this story so I guess I’ll start with why I spent the weekend in a cave with Masai warriors. I was told by another group of TechnoServe volunteers who also went to the cave that it is one of the most unique and authentic experiences you can have while in Kenya – something that you’ll never forget (though there are portions of the experience you really want to).

So a group of five of us piled into a safari vehicle on Saturday morning and left for a small town called Suswa. In Suswa we met the Masai who would be our guides through the experience, John and Joseph. It was at this point when our streak of bad luck started. John was navigating as our driver, Jimmy, was trying to get us to our second stop, a village just outside Hell’s Gate National Park. Jimmy was convinced he was an expert driver and, despite repeated warnings from John, continued on a path that turned from a little dusty into pure sand. About half way between Suswa and the village our safari vehicle got stuck in the sand. It was a little like getting a huge rear-wheel drive SUV stuck in the snow. The wheels just keep spinning and throwing sand all over the place. As we all know, I’m not the best at driving in the snow, but I do know that spinning wheels won’t get you anywhere.

After Jimmy – who we were all pretty annoyed with at this point – continued to dig us deeper in the sand we decided to get out of the safari vehicle and think more strategically about the situation. By this time both axels were deeply embedded into the sand and our vehicle had sunk at least three feet. We took the only tools we had – an axe and a machete – and began digging out the axels. After about two hours of digging we put the vehicle in neutral and tried pushing it out of the sand. The car got out, but the damage was already done. The gear box and filter were clogged with sand and the radiator had overheated. As a result, we were able to backtrack to a new (more solid) route only to have the safari vehicle break down two minutes later.

So we were stuck once again in the middle of an almost completely deserted area somewhere between Suswa and Hell’s Gate with only three hours until sundown. We were racing against the clock to figure out what we can do. The village was about four hours by foot. We couldn’t stay in the car; once it gets dark, chances are we would either get attacked by robbers or wild animals. The closest towing service was back in Nairobi and would have taken longer than three hours to get to where we were. Just as we were picking up all of our stuff to try our luck at walking to the village, two pickup trucks drove by. We had to pay them quite a bit but they both agreed to help us. One of them helped Jimmy tow the safari vehicle to Naivasha to get it fixed. The other let us jump in the back and hitch a ride closer to the village.

We finally got to the village an hour before sundown. We were covered with sand, sweat, and were exhausted. Despite our appearances, the villagers were excited to see us. I played with the village kids while the guys played some pick-up soccer (I have no idea how they still had energy to play soccer). The kids were adorable and started calling me “banana lady” because I gave them all bananas and biscuits.

From the village we hiked through Hell’s Gate to the cave. This was probably the most intense hike I’ve ever done. It was down a mountain, across a gorge, through bushes and grass taller than me, back up the mountain, and finally to the cave. Now, normally I would have paced myself through this hike but I had to keep up with the ridiculously fast Masai leading us or else I would have gotten lost. It is very ironic, by the way, that the Masai walk as fast as they do, only because everyone else in Kenya walks like they have nowhere in particular to be. Apparently the Masai are a breed of their own.

We finally got to the cave right as the sun was about to set (which is good because you don’t want to be hiking in Hell’s Gate in the dark with all the wildcats, black mambas, and other creatures lurking around). It was then time for dinner and what did we end up eating? The Kenyan staple diet – nyama choma (roasted meat) – what else? Only this time instead of just eating a big heap of goat in a bowl, we watched the process of goat preparation from beginning to end. We watched the live goat get pinned down by the neck, suffocated until its eyes stopped blinking, slit in the throat and sliced open. Then we watched the Masai drink the blood of the goat, bending down and sucking it right out of the dead carcass. They drink the blood for multiple reasons including testing the goat to see if it was sick. After the slaughter, the Masai start up a fire, roast the goat pieces on sticks, and pass around each prepared piece to share with the rest of us – liver, diaphragm, espophagus, and all other pieces of the goat including the hoofs.

All I can say is that I am so lucky that I don’t eat red meat! That one fact gave me a free pass to eat mac and cheese while my other friends had to eat the unseasoned meat with the smell of goat slaughter still lingering and the hollowed out carcass lying right next to us. They managed to sneak some salt and seasoning onto the goat pieces as they were eating so that it would at least taste like something.

The night continued with the Masai (there were eight of them total including three little kids) telling us very non-traditional campfire stories about killing lions, 35 ft. pythons, walking 200Km to deliver messages, etc. while we had s'mores (it was my idea to bring s’mores stuff of course).

Then we went to sleep in our sleeping bags on a bed of sage leaves. I got about two hours of good sleep because I kept waking up thinking that there would be a snake in my sleeping bag, a bat on my face, or a cheetah snuggling with me. We woke up as the sun was rising and had breakfast. The Masai had goat leftovers while the rest of us had bread and Nutella (at this point no one cared about being rude by declining the breakfast goat offer).

We did the same treacherous hike back to the village, this time stopping at some natural hot springs. Then we had lunch in the village before heading back home. We were so tired and dirty at this point that no one said a word the entire ride home and we all marched straight to the shower as soon as we walked into our apartments. All in all, the weekend was something I could have never prepared myself for, even after hearing stories from past cave visitors. I got to experience some of the best things I have ever seen (Hell’s Gate is gorgeous, the kids were adorable, and the Masai were great hosts) and the worst – namely the goat slaughter and the sand/sweat mixture in every crevice of my body. Needless to say, I am more than ready for my next weekend trip to the coastal paradise of Lamu (the exact opposite of the cave). My next blog entry will be about relaxing on the beach, eating massive amounts of seafood prepared by our private cook, and taking sunset dhow rides.